Run Raby, Run

Ever have one of those people in your life who's been competing with you except he fails to mention it until he announces he's won? "Heyyy, I guess I win the whose-got-the-biggest-grill competition."

"Heyyy, I didn't know there was a competition." Jerk.

We'll, I am that guy.

But only in regards to my wife. I don't care how badly I lose in a four-way game of Scrabble as long as I finish ahead of my wife. This is really healthy for a marriage. Seriously, it's one of the principles that Gary Chapman teaches in his book "The Five Love Languages." Look it up. It's in the appendix in a section entitled "Pummeling your Spouse."

Sunday, Julie and I ran in a 7K run. Julie is a runner. I am not. In fact, I hate running. The only reason I do as well as I do in these events is because I run them as fast as I can so that I can get the darn thing over with as soon as possible.

We had about a dozen friends and co-workers who joined us -including our friend and neighbor Amber who is five months pregnant. Amber registered on line and then on the day of the race wore an unseasonably heavy coat when she went to the table to pick up her materials because she was afraid the race officials wouldn't allow her to run if they saw that she was pregnant.

Julie kept insisting it was a "run" and not a competition. I kept telling her it was a "race" which by definition is a competition as in "Hey, wanna race?"

When we were done, I looked as if somebody has just turned a garden hose on me. Julie had but a radiant glow about her. I thought I was going to die. Julie was ready to shower, change, and go ballroom dancing.

Julie graciously let me finish ahead of her -I get really pouty when she beats me. I may have finished 362 out of a field of 700 runners, but at least I beat my wife.

Oh, and I finished ahead of the woman who looks like she's ready to give birth at any moment.

Barely.

-Jack

No More Meat for You!

It's the beginning of a new school year, which means that it is time to resume the collective meat order that we teachers submit to a local German butcher. It's a big task, but elementary principal Tim Wong has once again offered to organize it each month.

Seinfeld may have the soup nazi, but we have our very own meat nazi. Following is the email we received at the beginning of the year. Bear in mind, this is the edited down version. Tim is being completely serious here.

Dear ICS Staff members:

We will once again be doing collective meat orders every month.

I don't have the time to chase down people for payment or remind people to pick up their orders. It is your responsibility to pay on time and to pick-up your order on time this year.

Here are the rules this year:

1. Fill out order form...

2. ...and email it to me.

3. Keep note of the order deadline. No extensions given.

4. Payment is in exact cash (no change given). Please place your name and the amount in the envelope and seal it.

5. Money should be deposited by the deadline in the Meat Order Box (located in the Elementary office)

6. I will send ONE email reminder the day before delivery.

7. If you have a reusable bag that you would like us to place your meat in, write your name on it and leave it in the Elementary office before the delivery date.

8. No bags will be provided this year. Your order will be placed on the tables. For larger orders ($500 or more), they will be placed in boxes.

9. Mark the delivery date on your calendar, if you can't pick up your order arrange for someone to do it for you.

Penalties: Since this is a service to you, there will be no exceptions made to late payments or non pick-up of orders this year (we're all friends so don't take it personally):

1. For late payments... you will be removed from the next month's meat order.

2. 2nd late payment... you will be removed from the meat order for the rest of the year.

3. For non-pick of your meat order, it will thaw in the cafeteria and no refund will be given. I will instruct the Hong Yip [maintainence] staff that any meat left in the cafeteria after 6 p.m. will be free for the Hong Yip staff and they will take it away. (I'm not kidding... you have to remember to pick up your order this year... no more reminders).

Attached is the first order of the year:

Order is due Monday, August 23rd.

Delivery will be: Thursday, August 26th

Happy Eating!

Tim “The Butcher's Apprentice” Wong

Picture: one of an endless number of vendors selling -among other things- fish balls. I've had them. Once.

Keeping Our Eyes Open

In Hong Kong the adults come in all sizes, shapes, and varying degrees of beauty.

The kids on the other hand only come in one variety: unbelievably, adorably cute.

We have yet to see a kid who is anything but squeezable. The girls and I are forever elbowing each other on the train to point out yet another three year old with pigtails, in a pink cardigan wearing a pint-size Hello Kitty back pack.

A Little Off the Top

Emily -who just moved to Hong Kong this summer with her husband Brad- knocked on our door early Tuesday evening. She'd heard that Julie cut hair. Brad had been to the barber earlier that day and was pretty bummed out about the haircut he had received. Julie promised that as soon as we were done with dinner she would come down with her scissors to see what she could do.

Among all the other adjustment that come with settling into a new country, a lot of expats find that locating a barber who can give them the cut they want can be tough. One, Hong Kong hair fashions are different that Chicago or Melbourne or Manchester. And then of course there's that pesky language barrier.

This past summer when a lot of my colleagues went back to their home countries, I got the impression from a few of the women that the thing they were most excited about was the chance to get their hair cut by someone who knew what to do with it.

I think that the best thing you can do if you're moving to Hong Kong -or any other overseas city- is to get your hair cut just before you come and then immediately go to the nearest barber, let him get a good look at your head, and then tell him that you will be back in three weeks and you want a hair cut exactly the way it is now.

Emily not only had Julie clean up Brad's hair, but Emily had Julie explain to her what exactly she was doing. I think that Brad decided that it may just be easier and safer to have Emily cut his hair.

Last fall, when word go out that Julie gave a pretty decent hair cut, word spread pretty quickly. It used to be that when we got a evening knock on the door it was one of our neighbors looking for a little medical advice from the resident nurse, but lately, it seems to be -more often that not- that it's someone looking to have a little taken off the top from the resident barber. To date, I think that this makes seven people on our floor whose hair Julie has cut.

It's like life on the dorm floor all over again.

more pictures of pictures

A Tissue, A Candy, and a Coin

In Chinese and Hong Kong culture it's traditional to receive a small envelope when you attend a funeral. Inside the envelope will be a tissue, a candy, and a coin. The tissue is to wipe away your tears, the candy is to ease your sorrow, and the coin is to help defray the expenses you incurred in traveling to the funeral.

This week, I had occassion to attend the funeral of a student's mother who passed away. It was a Christian service, so most of it felt very familiar. The sevice was held in a funeral home which was set up to resemble a church. One difference though is that upon arrival, you and the people you came with will walk to the front of the church, bow in unison in the direction of the casket, pivot slightly, and then bow once more in the direction of the deceased's family who will return your bow. Because it was my colleagues' and my first funeral and because we didn't understand the directions of the Cantonese-speaking funeral director, there was plenty of bowing, it just wasn't in unison.

The funeral home took up the first two floors of a highrise building. The second floor was set up for Western, Christian funerals and the first floor was set up for traditional Chinese Buddhist funerals. When my colleagues and I arrived, there was a Buddhist funeral service (pictured) in full swing complete with professional mourners.

It was still going on an hour-and-a-half later when we left.

-Jack

Peak Performance

You've heard of people who live their entire lives on Staten Island but have never been up the Statue of Liberty? Well Julie managed to live in Hong Kong for over a year without ever going up to The Peak. Usually, people visit the peak within the first 72 hours after their plane lands.

Last weekend, it was a friend's birthday and we helped him celebrate it by joining him and some other friends at Bubba Gumps at the top of The Peak.

Finally, its official, Julie is a legitimate Hong Konger.