A Tissue, A Candy, and a Coin

In Chinese and Hong Kong culture it's traditional to receive a small envelope when you attend a funeral. Inside the envelope will be a tissue, a candy, and a coin. The tissue is to wipe away your tears, the candy is to ease your sorrow, and the coin is to help defray the expenses you incurred in traveling to the funeral.

This week, I had occassion to attend the funeral of a student's mother who passed away. It was a Christian service, so most of it felt very familiar. The sevice was held in a funeral home which was set up to resemble a church. One difference though is that upon arrival, you and the people you came with will walk to the front of the church, bow in unison in the direction of the casket, pivot slightly, and then bow once more in the direction of the deceased's family who will return your bow. Because it was my colleagues' and my first funeral and because we didn't understand the directions of the Cantonese-speaking funeral director, there was plenty of bowing, it just wasn't in unison.

The funeral home took up the first two floors of a highrise building. The second floor was set up for Western, Christian funerals and the first floor was set up for traditional Chinese Buddhist funerals. When my colleagues and I arrived, there was a Buddhist funeral service (pictured) in full swing complete with professional mourners.

It was still going on an hour-and-a-half later when we left.

-Jack